I am absolutely not claiming to have cracked parenting, solved smartphones, or raised three perfectly screen-balanced children who spend their evenings knitting and discussing philosophy.
This page is simply a step by step pathway that has genuinely helped our family. Our 3 children are now 14, 13 and 10 - so we’ve definitely had our fair share of smartphone battles…! We had the classic school Year 6 pressure point for our eldest - back before Smartphone Free Childhood was a thing. So we relented… And then very quickly rolled it back - locking her iPhone down (see step 5 below) to just phone, iMessage, maps - no WhatsApp except if she requested it (only for 15 minutes - I wish there was a ‘5 minutes’ option!). Our 13 year old also has a similarly locked down iPhone. Last but definitely not least - our 10 year old is neurodivergent so we will be holding off giving her a phone until we feel she is able to manage the dopamine effects of a smartphone - even a very locked down one. She instantaneously becomes Gollum (MINE - PRECIOUS!!!) when she has tech in her hands.
We still occasionally have ‘you’re so strict!’ comments - we muddle through, it’s not perfect - but we’ve found a way forwards that seems to be working - so far at least…
So, please take anything useful, ignore anything that doesn’t fit your family, and adapt it however you like.